WARNING: Crazed Young Haole Runner Terrorizing HURT Veterans on Trails!

BEWARE!  Yesterday there were two incidents (possibly connected! …gasp…) involving an unidentified haole runner wreaking havoc on local HURT runners.  The suspect was said to be about 5’7”, 130 lbs., and wearing gray shorts.  According to eye witnesses who have requested to remain anonymous, (thanks for the anonymous tip, Don Fallis, Rex and Kat) the unknown suspect was "moving like a bat out of hell up hogsback!"  On the first incident, the culprit used his water bottle as a weapon, hosing Don half way up hogsback in a sneak attack that used up nearly half a bottle.  In the second attack, the suspect hid in some bushes on the trail down to Paradise Park and simulated the sounds of a mama boar about to attack.  Anonymous tip provider (Rex) was unsure if the resulting stains would come out of his running shorts.  If any more information is needed on these attacks, I’m certain that Don, Rex and Kat will be happy to provide more detailed accounts.  Despite any embarrassment, I’m sure all the victims of these senseless pranks recognize the importance of sharing their stories to ensure all our safety out on the trails. If anyone has information on these troubling incidents, please contact the lead investigator on this case, Matt Stevens, as soon as possible.  Mahalos.

PS: If anyone out there is in need of some inspiration for their HURT 100 training, check out the below video links.  They are pretty sweet!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QjYx6drVaA Lance Armstrong’s Highligt Reel with Music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7A_QUlMbvY Greatest Distance Track Finishes with Music